This God stuff
by Kaylene Capbell
I was a sad girl with a bad frame of mind. I thought suicide was the only way out … but, God helps me through.
‘You might think it’s weird … but, God helps me through.’ What was my friend talking about? Religious stuff? Weird!
Sure, I knew about all this through RE in primary school, but my family isn’t religious at all, so it wasn’t something I really knew about. However, at that time I was lonely, I was desperate and I was open to anything. I was open to this weird God stuff.
I was a sad girl with a bad frame of mind. I released my sorrows through self-harm and I thought suicide was the only way out. I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. Then, one particularly terrible night I was talking to a friend. ‘You know what helps me when I’m going through a bad time?’ she said. ‘You might think it’s weird … but, God helps me through
Looking back now, I know that God sent my friend into my life to share his word and introduce me to our amazing Creator and his inspiring Son.
So what happened next?
Well, she called me and we spent two hours on the phone talking about all this God stuff. Listening to her talk and hearing her passion, her love, I wanted that. I wanted that feeling she was describing—the love and forgiveness. And and most of all, I wanted a friend.
So I prayed. I got down on my knees and tried something new. ‘Hello? Are you there? I know I haven’t been the best person around …’
I stayed there for an hour, just praying, talking to God and asking for help, for forgiveness. My heart felt full. I was crying good tears, and for the first time in a while I knew everything would be okay.
Three years, a change of schools and some interesting new friends later I was still bumbling along with this God stuff, and, gosh, I felt like I had hit a brick wall. Do you know how hard it is to believe in something when your family doesn’t understand what on earth you’re talking about? My best friends? Well, the first is all into reincarnation and the second is Wiccan. I love them … but I can’t talk about God or the Bible with them, and they certainly couldn’t answer my questions.
I was stuck. So I prayed, and before I knew it I was making a new friend, a Christian friend! We talked about all sorts of things—God and more. It was glorious! Thanks, God!
However, that wasn’t all. God had a surprise in store for me that was just what I needed, and my new friend was going to show me.
‘Hey, are you coming to CLW?’ ‘CLW? What’s that?’ ‘
Christian Life Week. Only the most amazing camp ever!’
She had my attention. Some serious talking and Google-searching later, I found myself asking my wonderful parents if I could go on this bucketload-of-fun camp, and guess what? They said yes! Of course, it wasn’t going to be easy for us; it was a tad expensive for a small family of dairy farmers.
However, we made it, and I soon found myself in the car, heading off to my first CLW. I had a Men in Black suit in my suitcase, right beside my Bible, and excitement growing inside me. I was ready for an adventure. First impression: everyone is smiling! I can’t stop smiling either. We are all so happy! Second impression: goodness gracious, I want that man’s bow tie!
By the end of that first day, I had shed many secret tears because of …